2023: Season in Review

Final record: 83-77 (.519)
Record excluding Chapter Two: 62-70 (.470)
Record excluding Chapter Five: 76-56 (.576)
Record excluding both chapters: 55-49 (.529)

So...were we a good team, a bad team, or a mediocre team? Beats the fuck out of me.

Rafael Devers, MLB '22: .295/.358/.521, 42 2B, 27 HR, 739/931
Rafael Devers, BDBL '23: .237/.317/.419, 34 2B, 21 HR, 728/740

Not even close. Not even remotely the same player. On the bell curve, we're talking about four standard deviations to the left. Off the chart.

Shohei Ohtani, MLB '22: .273/.356/.519, 34 HR, 788/921
Shohei Ohtani, BDBL '23: .231/.320/.410, 20 HR, 720/736

Again, not even close. Not the same player. Four standard deviations to the left. Statistically impossible.

Ranger Suarez, MLB '22: 3.65 ERA, 8.6 H/9, 3.4 BB/9, 7.5 K/9, 0.9 HR/9, 537/756
Ranger Suarez, BDBL '23: 6.44 ERA, 10.9 H/9, 4.4 BB/9, 6.9 K/9, 1.6 HR/9, 678/1.027

Nowhere near the same player. Not even remotely resembling the same player. Actual MLB statistics completely irrelevant. Game is broken.

Framber Valdez, MLB '22: 2.82 ERA, 7.4 H/9, 3.0 BB/9, 8.7 K/9, 0.5 HR/9, 505/620
Framber Valdez, BDBL '23: 3.96 ERA, 9.5 H/9, 3.4 BB/9, 8.8 K/9, 0.7 HR/9, 885/719

Okay, somewhat resembles the actual Framber Valdez if you ignore all the hits and those ridiculous splits. The "Framber Valdez" in the BDBL can't get lefties out to save his life. So, is he actually Framber Valdez? Or is he some bargain-basement Aldi's-brand knock-off? Because I acquired the actual Framber Valdez under the premise that he would actually be THE Framber Valdez.

Statistically speaking, it's mathematically possible that one of these four players could have shit the bed this dramatically. Let's call it a one-in-a-million chance that it could happen. What are the odds that ALL FOUR players could have shit the bed this badly? It's way above one in a billion. I would say it's statistically impossible. Which means this game is broken. Utter bullshit. What a waste of time this entire season was.

On to 2024, so we can repeat this bullshit all over again.