Normally in this space, I would segment our chapter review into sections: good, bad, and ugly. This chapter, there was no good, or even bad, to be found. It was all ugly.
It's difficult to believe that the Cowtippers we saw in Chapter Two were the same Cowtippers from Chapter One. Nothing changed, except for the fact that we added a catcher who can actually hit. You'd think that would be a good thing. Instead, we went an abysmal 12-16 in Chapter Two and fell into second place in the McGowan Division.
Lucky for us, Jim Doyle ensured that we don't have to worry about losing this division. Had he not made his suicidal trade at the beginning of last chapter, I would need to seriously consider trading away some of the key pieces of our franchise's future in order to win this division. As it now stands, I don't need to do anything. We will win this division by default. Thank god for small blessings.
Ugliness #1: Our Offense
For the life of me, I cannot comprehend what the hell is wrong with our offense. We hit just .233/.293/.417 for the chapter and scored just 124 runs -- an average of just 4.4 runs per game. That sub-.300 OBP is especially mind-boggling. Our OBP for the season is now just .302. Out of all the hitters who have received regular playing time on our roster, only two -- Aledmys Diaz and Ramon Laureano -- have an OBP that is higher than the one on the disk.
Shohei Ohtani (.300), Rafael Devers (.275), Andrew Benintendi (.309), and Christian Walker (.256) all have an OBP that is over 30 points lower than the one on the disk. That's half our lineup! Devers, in particular, is posting stats that are nowhere near his projections:
BDBL: .228/.275/.416, 570/745 splits
Proj: .292/.344/.530, 843/887 splits
This is the guy who is supposed to be our MVP. He is supposed to be, by far, the best hitter on our team. What are we supposed to do with him now? Move him down in the batting order? Bench him against lefties? Which is the real Rafael Devers? The one on the disk or this useless piece of shit?
Ugliness #2: Max Scherzer
The Chapter One Co-Pitcher of the Chapter, who was basically unhittable in Chapter One (0.81 ERA in 44+ IP, with only 29 hits allowed) crashed into a flaming fireball of turd in Chapter Two. Naturally, we expected some regression after that dazzling first chapter. But this?
1-4, 5.50 ERA, 36 IP, 37 H, 8 HR, 7 BB, 54 K
EIGHT home runs and four losses in one chapter. (Four of those homers came in his final start against Los Altos.) How is it even possible for the same pitcher, with the same player card, using the same exact software, to deliver two such completely polar-opposite performances one chapter apart?
Ugliness #3: Our Shitty Bullpen
Our bullpen has been so useless this entire season that we have begun using our best starting pitchers as relievers. Even THAT backfired in Chapter Two.
We lost a game to the Las Vegas Flamingos in which we handed a 6-5 lead to Sonny Gray in the ninth inning. He struck out the first two batters he faced. Then, one out away from victory, he proceeded to give up three straight hits to three complete bums: Kevin Cron, Jason Kipnis, and someone named T.Ward. Ward's double brought home both Cron and Kipnis for the walk-off win.
We lost a game to Lake Norman when Shohei Ohtani and Sam Delaplane combined to cough up four runs in the ninth inning, blowing a 2-0 game wide open.
We lost a game to Los Altos when we handed a 6-5 lead over to Aaron Bummer, who proceeded to live up to his name by allowing a pair of singles and a three-run homer to pinch hitter Mac Williamson in the eighth inning.
We lost a game to Joplin in the twelfth inning when Scherzer, pitching his fourth inning of relief, allowed a solo home run to Carlos Santana (who, thankfully, we won't have to see anymore!) We could have won that game if only the Salem offense had been able to score a single run off of Matt Barnes or Rubby de la Rosa -- two right-handed specialists facing a lefty-heavy lineup.
We lost yet another game to Joplin when "righty-specialist" David Bednar served up a two-run homer to righty Josh Donaldson (another one we won't have to worry about anymore), and then Sam Delaplane choked up another solo homer to Santana in the ninth. We ended up losing that game by one run, wasting a brilliant effort by Jon Gray.
We somehow managed to score only one run against someone named Adrian Houser in a loss to Darien. We had a chance to win that game when we tied the score in the top of the ninth, but once again, our bullpen failed. Once again, it was Sonny Gray, pitching in relief, who stood on the mound while the opposing team celebrated another walk-off win.
We couldn't even beat the bad teams in Chapter Two. We managed a split against the last-place North Carolina Iron Spider Pigs thanks to yet another failure by yet another "ace" starting pitcher pitching in relief. In the second game of that series, Stephen Strasburg served up a solo homer to Ian Happ in the sixth inning, which became the deciding run in that one-run loss.
We played nine games in Chapter Two that were decided by one run, and went 2-7 in those games. Absolutely pathetic.
+++
Thankfully, help is on the way, both internally and externally. Internally, we will be adding Kolten Wong to our lineup and Sean Doolittle to our bullpen. Doolittle has posted a 2.89 ERA in 18+ innings for the Ravenswood Infidels. We're not sure where he will fit in as a third left-hander in our bullpen, but that's a good problem to have. Wong (.258/.346/.472) will be replacing the mostly-useless Nick Madrigal (.250/.305/.278) at second base. It would be nice if their 40-point differential in OBP would actually translate to the game play. We will, however, miss Jeimer Candelario's bat (.267/.346/.422) more than we anticipated when we made that trade at the start of the chapter.
Externally, of course, we look forward to competing against a severely-hobbled Joplin Miners roster after the trades of Josh Donaldson, Carlos Santana, and Clayton Kershaw. Miners GM Jim Doyle hilariously scrambled to fill those holes once he realized the blunder he had made, but that isn't likely to make much of a difference. Khris Davis (.280/.330/.611, with 18 home runs) was having a phenomenal year for the Infidels prior to his trade. He should fill in nicely for Santana (.286/.382/.509), but that still leaves a gaping hole in the lineup.
Likewise, there is now a gaping hole in the starting rotation following the departure of Kershaw (6-3, 3.07 ERA in 85 IP.) The Infidels came to the rescue there as well, filling that void with James Paxton (3-4, 4.85 ERA in 55+ IP). Paxton is no Kershaw, however, and his weaknesses are easily-exploitable.
Regardless of those changes, we should once again expect some regression, but in the opposite direction. If our team is not nearly as good as we were in Chapter One, but not nearly as bad as we were in Chapter Two, then the "true" talent level of our ballclub is somewhere just north of .500. In this newly-altered division race, that should be enough.
