2018 Wrap-up

The 2018 regular season is officially in the books. We finished strong with a 19-9 Chapter Six -- our best chapter of the season. Our goal of winning our first division title since 2008 fell short once again, but we're still in the thick of the OL wilcard race. Now we wait to see how the Kansas City Boulevards fare over their last 20 games of the season.

Regardless of how it ends, 2018 will be remembered as a disappointment. This looked like it would be better than a 93-win team when we began the season. Our failure to live up to expectations rests primarily with our performance in one-run games. We finished the season with a record of 21-23 in those tight games, thanks in large part to a bullpen that had an uncanny knack of imploding at the worst-possible times. Had we won only a handful of those games, this year-in-review would have a much different tone.

2018 will also be remembered for the extraordinary number of bone-headed trades I made throughout the season, from beginning to end. It was, by far, the worst year of my 20-year career as GM of this franchise. When it comes to trading, our motto is "Don't Do Stupid Shit." And yet we did -- again and again and again.

The stupid shit began with our very first trade of the season when we sent Blake Parker and Martin Prado to the Flagstaff Outlaws in exchange for Mike Leake. The thinking at the time was that Leake would provide some much-needed innings at a price that we would not have been able to replicate in the auction. His free agent status at the end of this season also meant that we would be off the hook for his contract. Leake did give us innings -- over 200 of them -- but he also posted a useless 4.85 ERA on the season, allowed more hits than innings, and gave us only 15 quality starts. Parker, meanwhile, led the entire BDBL in saves.

Our next stupid trade was sending Jorge Soler to the Granite State Lightning in exchange for Luis Perdomo. The trade itself wasn't bad, since neither Soler nor Perdomo amounted to much. What made it stupid was when we signed Perdomo to a two-year contract at $3 and $4 million. Just to rub additional salt in our wound, Perdomo logged just 44.2 innings in MLB with a 7.05 ERA. Had he pitched just five fewer innings, we could have released him without penalty.

We shopped Hyun-Jin Ryu to every team in the BDBL last winter, and finally found a taker in Bart Chinn. Chinn was rewarded with a pitcher who tossed 82+ innings in MLB with a microscopic ERA of 1.97. Although the player we received in that deal, Matt Joyce, had a terrific season, we'd rather have Ryu at the bargain-basement salary of $100,000.

Our stupid shit continued when Mike Ries took over the Granite State Lightning franchise and we made the same offer to him that we had made countless time to the franchise's former owner, Ryan Glander. Unlike Ryan, Ries listened to me when I said his franchise would be better off without Sonny Gray and his albatross of a contract. If only I had listened to my own advice. Gray (4.90 ERA in MLB) will cost us a whopping $4.6 million to occupy a spot on our reserve roster next season. Worst yet, we can't even cut him, since he's signed through 2021 (at salaries of $6.1M and $7.6M).

Oh, but wait. I'm not done. I saved the best for last. Back in late June, when we were still entertaining fantasies of winning the division, the Niagara Locks were shopping Max Kepler. Because Odubel Herrera was such an unexpected disappointment all season, we needed a strong left-handed bat in center field. I sent Locks GM Mike Ranney a bunch of names I was willing to trade for Kepler, and he responded with one I hadn't listed: Wander Franco. Since Franco was only 16 years old and hadn't yet swung a bat in a professional game, I figured why not? Within a month, Franco shot up the prospect lists into the top 20 and became one of the hottest prospects in baseball. As for Kepler, he posted a batting average and OBP that was nearly identical to Herrera's. Oh, and we will now pay a $1.5 million penalty just to get rid of him this winter.

The Good

We didn't always make shitty trades. In fact, one time we traded somebody named Austin Bergner for Jose Ramirez. True story. You can look it up. Ramirez was, without a doubt, our MVP this season. He hit .306/.371/.538 with 58 doubles, 24 home runs, 112 runs scored, and a team-leading 123.1 runs created. He also swiped 17 bases for good measure and played an above-average second base.

Gary Sanchez led the team with 40 home runs and 104 ribbies and created 109.1 runs. Matt Joyce (.241/.344/.506) ranked #2 on the team in homers, with 28, despite playing almost exclusively against right-handers.

Coming off his career-worst season (5.10 ERA), Stephen Strasburg gave us (arguably) his best season to date. In 191+ innings, he posted a 15-4 record and a 2.25 ERA. He should earn a few Cy Young votes this winter. In the bullpen, we couldn't have asked for more from Mike Montgomery (12-7, 2.21 ERA in 142+ IP), Brad Brach (2.06 ERA in 52+ IP as a 'Tipper), and Tommy Hunter (1.53 ERA in 47 IP for Salem.)

Along with Strasburg, our other franchise pitcher, Jon Gray, also had a stellar season in 2018. In 119+ innings, he went 7-6 with a 2.86 ERA. Unfortunately, it looks like it will be back to the bottom of the rotation for him in 2019.

The Bad

Not only was Sonny Gray a costly pickup for us this year, but his performance (6-3, 4.32 ERA in 75 IP for Salem) hardly warrants the expense. In particular, his numbers against lefties (.312/.368/.532) had no resemblance whatsoever to his MLB numbers (.221/.293/.352). He allowed 6 home runs to left-handers in just 141 at-bats (compared to 7 HR allowed in 281 AB in MLB -- in a much more homer-friendly ballpark.)

We may have a scoreboard problem in Salem. For years, the centerfield scoreboard in Sam Adams Stadium featured the serious game face of Stephen Strasburg. Stras had such an awful 2017 BDBL season we figured we'd change our luck by featuring Andrew Benintendi on that board this season. Benny's rookie season didn't exactly go as planned. He hit just .241/.315/.372 (compared to his MLB numbers of .271/.352/.424.) He hit just 15 home runs (compared to 20 in MLB), and created just 59 runs (compared to 88.1 in MLB.)

Odubel Herrera's splits were backwards in 2018. In MLB, he hit .288/.323/.471 against left-handers and .279/.326/.445 vs. righties. In the BDBL, he hit .312/.368/.426 against lefties and just .239/.295/.367 against righties. If his numbers against right-handers were anywhere NEAR his MLB numbers, we'd still own Wander Franco today.

Like Benintendi, we expected more from Trea Turner in his first full season in the BDBL. Instead, he hit just .248 (nearly 40 points lower than MLB), hit just .183/.231/.211 against lefties, posted a meager OBP of .318 against righties, and hit just 5 home runs (less than half his MLB total.) Most bizarre of all, he was also caught stealing a whopping dozen times in 37 attempts. His 68% success rate paled in comparison to his MLB rate of 85%.

The Ugly

Raisel Iglesias' performance in 2018 defies explanation. In fact, if you were to point a finger at one single player and claim he lost the division for us, Iglesias would be that player. He managed to lose 10 games for us -- which is no easy feat for a relief pitcher. It could even be a BDBL record! Despite pitching in a MUCH friendlier home ballpark, Iglesias' numbers in the BDBL are nowhere near his MLB numbers. His ERA (3.80) is nearly 1.5 points higher than his MLB number. He allowed nearly three times as many home runs in the BDBL as he did in MLB. His numbers against lefties (.287/.355/.553) make him look like an entirely different pitcher than his MLB counterpart (.256/.360/.349.) I shudder to think how many longballs he'll surrender in 2019.

Another baffling performance came from Pedro Strop. His BDBL ERA (5.20) is well over two runs higher than his MLB ERA (2.83). He allowed far more hits and walks than he did in MLB, and his OBP against lefthanders (.353) is nowhere near his MLB number (.265).

All season long, we asked ourselves: what the fuck is wrong with Mitch Moreland? That question remains unsolved. Only a Chapter Six surge saved him from posting a batting average below .200. He finished the season at .207/.269/.371 overall, and hit just .203/.257/.377 against righties (compared to .246/.324/.460 in MLB.) So, what the fuck is wrong with Mitch Moreland? Your guess is as good as mine.

We were beyond thrilled to have landed Yoenis Cespedes for "only" $5.5 million in last winter's free agent auction. We figured not only would he be an asset for us in 2018, but that we were "buying low" on a player who topped 30 homers in the previous two MLB seasons and still had plenty of upside potential at age 32. Boy were we wrong. Not only did Cespedes spend nearly the entire 2018 MLB season on the DL (but managing to get just enough PA's to kick in his contract for next year), but he was all but useless to us this season. He hit just .239/.286/.414 overall, with barely half the number of home runs (9) as he hit in MLB. We were especially counting on his bat against left-handers, but he hit just .214/.245/.480 against them instead. And thanks to his Type-H salary, we get the privilege of signing him to a two-year contract in a few weeks.

Looking Ahead to 2019

Although our 2018 season may not be over just yet, it never hurts to look ahead. Unfortunately, there isn't much to look forward to in 2019. We thought we had suffered an unusual rash of injuries on our pitching staff heading into the 2018 season, but this year we took the art of being injured to a whole new level.

Jose Quintana managed to pitch a whopping 174 innings in MLB this season. Jon Gray tossed 172 innings in MLB this season (posting a 5.12 ERA.) Believe it or not, out of the NINE starting pitchers we have on our roster, those are the only two pitchers who topped 160 innings this season. The next-highest total is Stephen Matz's 154 innings. Then we have three pitchers (Strasburg, Anibal Sanchez, and Sonny Gray) in the 130's. We can squeeze a full season's worth of innings from the pitchers we have only if we include Mike Montgomery's 124 and Felix Pena's 93.

Our bullpen is well-stocked with live arms like Richard Rodriguez (69 IP, 2.47 ERA), Pedro Strop (60 IP, 2.26), Matt Grace (60 IP, 2.87), and Jonathan Holder (66, 3.14). We will likely use yet another injured pitcher, Shohei Ohtani (52 IP, 3.31 ERA) out of the bullpen as well.

Offensively, it seems as though the entire team did as much as they could to destroy their season's worth of effort with the shittiest September possible. Jose Ramirez was hitting over .300 as late as August 19th. He then proceeded to hit .167 the rest of the way, dragging his overall average down to .270. His overall numbers (.270/.387/.552) are still decent, but no longer MVP-caliber.

Eugenio Suarez was also hitting .300 (with a .941 OPS) on August 14th. He hit .236 (with a .756 OPS) the rest of the way. His overall numbers (.283/.356/.526) are also decent, but no longer MVP-caliber.

Andrew Benintendi (.290/.366/.465) and Trea Turner (.271/.344/.416) should be above-average with the bats as well. Odubel Herrera was looking like a potential batting champ in April. He finished the month with a .343 average, and saw it rise to .361 through the middle of May. Then he turned back into a pumpkin and hit .216 the rest of the way. He's a borderline keeper at this point.

Other than that, we have nothing. Gary Sanchez was supposed to be the best-hitting catcher in baseball. Instead, he's as horrible with the bat as he is behind the plate. At best, we can use him against lefties (.229/.354/.518), but we now have to find another catcher, since our backup, Travis d'Arnaud, missed almost the entire season with an injury.

Of course, we can't even use our best hitter in the starting lineup! Shohei Ohtani (.313/.387/1.043) will be the league's best pinch hitter.

At this point, 2019 is looking like a rebuilding year. But you never know.

Chapter Four Review

Another chapter is in the books, and the Salem Cowtippers continue to dance along the fine line between playoffs contention and also-ran irrelevance. We wrapped up Chapter Four with a respectable 15-9 record, but fell to two games behind in the division race, as the Joplin Miners went 17-7. We are two games behind in the OL wild card race as well, tied with the Bear Country Jamboree, and trailing the Kansas City Boulevards.

Despite draining our season's VORP cap on relief pitching, our bullpen continues to be our Achilles heel. We blew three late-game leads in Chapter Four and went 3-4 in one-run games. We somehow managed to blow SIX saves in only twenty-four games. Raisel Iglesias, alone, blew four saves in Chapter Four. He inherited ten base runners, and half of them scored!

The Good

Stephen Strasburg got off to such a horrendous start to this season, but has redeemed himself lately. In Chapter Four, he went 3-0 with a 1.04 ERA. Most importantly, he allowed only one home run in four games.

We had been using Luis Perdomo as our spot starter throughout the first half of the season. He sucked so badly that we figured we'd give Matt Shoemaker a chance to pitch instead. He has been nothing short of brilliant. Last chapter, he went 2-1 with a 2.37 ERA in three starts.

It turns out that we traded a top-30 prospect for him, but Max Kepler's Salem debut has gone very well so far. We gave him plenty of playing time in Chapter Four, and he rewarded us with a .338/.405/.507 batting line.

Gary Sanchez (.333/.380/.556), Andrew Benintendi (.307/.379/.533), and Jose Ramirez (.303/.373/.606) also excelled in Chapter Four.

The Bad

Trea Turner (.244/.295/.366 in Chapter Four) has proven to be a huge disappointment this season. Not only isn't he hitting, but he was also thrown out in four of seven stolen base attempts.

When we signed Yoenis Cespedes as a free agent, we thought we had signed not only a very useful part-time player for 2018, but a cost-effective impact player for 2019 and beyond. Not only has Cespedes become useless to us going forward, but he hasn't done much at the plate in 2018, either. He hit .227/.320/.500 in Chapter Four, and is batting just .242/.284/.435 on the season. Thanks for nothing, Yoenis.

The Ugly

We depend a lot on Raisel Iglesias, as he is supposed to be our premier closer against right-handed batters. He held righties to a .163/.200/.252 batting line in a tough ballpark in MLB, and has held righties to a .178/.235/.290 line in the BDBL. For some reason, though, he just completely choked in Chapter Four. We handed him the ball THIRTEEN times in the chapter. He pitched nine innings in total, and allowed nine hits, nine runs, nine earned runs, six walks, and FOUR home runs. He allowed four home runs in nine innings -- and allowed five home runs in 76 innings in MLB. On the season, he has allowed NINE home runs in just 62 innings. And Cincinnati is a tremendous home-run hitter's ballpark! Go figure.

Mike Leake (1-1, 5.91 ERA in five games) was just about useless in Chapter Four. As was Odubel Herrera (.206/.270/.265), who has incredibly become a bench player after the acquisition of Kepler.

Okay, what the fuck is wrong with Mitch Moreland? Seriously. Someone check his player card. There is just NO WAY he can possibly be THIS shitty. For the fourth chapter in a row, he has been absolutely useless. He hit .188/.243/.333 in Chapter Four, and is hitting .173/.235/.307 on the season. Keep in mind, we only play him against right-handed pitchers, and he hit .246/.324/.460 against righties in MLB!

Looking Ahead

We've now reached that time of the year when we have enough data to look ahead at the 2019 season. Back in April, it seemed as though 2019 would be the year the Cowtippers finally revive their dominance of old and run away with the division with 115-120 wins. Odubel Herrera was leading the league with a .370 batting average. Gary Sanchez looked like the best catcher in baseball. Stephen Strasburg and Shohei Ohtani looked like dual aces. Trea Turner was hitting for the cycle every other game. Three months later, Herrera is just an average hitter, Sanchez is hitting below .200 and can't stay healthy, Strasburg and Ohtani are the most fragile pitchers in baseball and may not pitch 140 innings combined, and Turner is a below-average shortstop.

There are still some reasons for optimism, but this team no longer looks like a surefire contender on paper. We'll have a lot of work to do this off-season.

Offense:

C: Gary Sanchez: 279 PA, .188/.283/.416

1B: Mitch Moreland: 307 PA, .272/.345/.489

3B: Jose Ramirez: 458 PA, .292/.402/.612

3B: Eugenio Suarez: 389 PA, .298/.383/.574

3B: Rafael Devers: 396 PA, .245/.295/.425

SS: Trea Turner: 470 PA, .265/.337/.409

OF: Odubel Herrera: 438 PA, .275/.330/.464

OF: Andrew Benintendi: 443 PA, .300/.384/.512

OF: Max Kepler: 401 PA, .227/.317/.415

Ramirez is arguably among the top five hitters in baseball. Suarez and Benintendi are among the top fifteen in offensive WAR. The problem is that Ramirez moved from second base to third, creating a logjam at that position (which was supposed to be Devers' to lose.) This is a good problem to have. A not-so-good problem is the fact that Sanchez went from being the best catcher in baseball to the bottom of the barrel, and his backup, Travis d'Arnaud, is gone for the season with an injury. Filling that position isn't something we thought we would need to do, but it's now at the top of our priorities list.

Starting Pitching:

Stephen Strasburg: 85 IP, 77 H, 12 HR, 21 BB, 101 K, 3.90 ERA

Jose Quintana: 108 IP, 101 H, 15 HR, 52 BB, 95 K, 4.26 ERA

Jon Gray: 106 IP, 114 H, 11 HR, 32 BB, 131 K, 5.16 ERA

Sonny Gray: 101 IP, 104 H, 12 HR, 44 BB, 96 K, 5.08 ERA

Zach Eflin: 77 IP, 72 H, 10 HR, 18 BB, 72 K, 3.64 ERA

Stephen Matz: 107 IP, 95 H, 17 HR, 40 BB, 95 K, 3.79 ERA

Shohei Ohtani: 49 IP, 36 H, 5 HR, 20 BB, 61 K, 3.10 ERA

Anibal Sanchez: 78 IP, 61 H, 10 HR, 24 BB, 74 K, 3.00 ERA

Mike Montgomery: 87 IP, 89 H, 7 HR, 28 BB, 54 K, 4.03 ERA

Our starting pitching basically falls into two categories: aces who are pitching like #4 starters and #4 starters who are pitching like aces. The first group includes Strasburg, Quintana, and both Grays. In any other year, these guys would all be tremendous assets. In 2018, not so much.

The second group includes two guys -- Eflin and Sanchez -- that we plucked off of the free agent scrap heap. We would have had a third -- Clay Buchholz -- if not for Tony Chamra's meddling.

Bullpen:

Raisel Iglesias: 47 IP, 32 H, 6 HR, 15 BB, 49 K, 2.11 ERA

Richard Rodriguez: 42 IP, 37 H, 3 HR, 10 BB, 53 K, 2.76 ERA

Jonathan Holder: 43 IP, 29 H, 2 HR, 7 BB, 38 K, 2.11 ERA

Adam Cimber: 51 IP, 45 H, 2 HR, 10 BB, 51 K, 3.00 ERA

Phil Maton: 28 IP, 27 H, 1 HR, 13 BB, 28 K, 3.25 ERA

Matt Grace: 39 IP, 34 H, 4 HR, 9 BB, 33 K, 2.77 ERA

There is no real "closer" in this group, but overall it's a strong group of relievers with plenty of depth. We will more than likely use Ohtani out of the bullpen, so he will become another asset for us in the late innings.

Chapter Three Review

As I type, the Salem Cowtippers have moved into sole possession of first place in the McGowan Division. We own a slim one game lead, and the second place Joplin Miners still have four games left to play (against South Carolina), so that lead may not last long. Still, it's good to be able to type "first-place Salem Cowtippers" again.

We managed this feat despite going a rather ordinary 14-10 in Chapter Three. We blew numerous opportunities to win games last chapter, and struggled offensively -- especially against right-handed pitching. We lost or split a couple of critical series against sub-.500 teams, but our chapter was saved by two surprising series wins against Niagara (a sweep) and St. Louis (3-1).

Off the field, we managed to solve our usage problems for the stretch run. We deliberately ran Jon Gray's usage into the ground throughout the first half, and he is now done for the season. To replace him in our rotation, we acquired Sonny Gray from the brand-new management of the Granite State Lightning franchise. We also picked up a shortstop, Eric Sogard, to fill in the innings we will lose from having maxed-out Deven Marrero in the first half.

We announced a new strategy at the end of the 2015 season. We stockpiled young talent throughout the 2016 season. At the end of that season, we identified a core foundation of young talent that we vowed to never trade: Stephen Strasburg, Jon Gray, Shohei Ohtani, Trea Turner, Gary Sanchez, and Andrew Benintendi. Two years later, we have stuck with that strategy -- a rarity for our franchise.

My goal this year was to flesh out the roster through trades without dealing two more prospects that I believe may eventually join that core group: Nick Madrigal and Yusei Kikuchi. Although we were greatly tempted to trade both of them this past chapter, we managed not to give in to temptation.

With less than 15 VORP points remaining under our cap, this is most likely the roster we will carry throughout the second half of the season. We like this cast of characters, but it would be nice if they would all put it together at some point this season and reach their full potential. There is plenty of time for that to happen.

The Good

The highlight of our chapter was our interleague series against the Niagara Locks. In my twenty-year BDBL career, I have never witnessed a series like that one. Our pitchers managed to hold the Locks to just one run (a sacrifice fly) in four games. We won those games by scores of 6-0, 9-0, 2-1, and 3-0. And all of that happened despite losing our MVP, Jose Ramirez, for the entirety of the series, in the first inning of the first game!

To say that Jon Gray went out on a high note would be an understatement! In his final six starts, Gray went 4-0 with a 0.86 ERA. He allowed only 28 hits and 6 walks in 41+ innings, with 43 K's. As one of our two franchise pitchers, he wrapped up the 2018 season with a career-best 2.86 ERA. We hope his next start will be in the OL Division Series.

Our bullpen really came together in Chapter Three. Tommy Hunter and Mike Grace combined for nine innings of relief without allowing an earned run. (Even Ichiro Suzuki, believe it or not, tossed 1.2 innings of shutout relief.) Raisel Iglesias (1.42 ERA in 12+ IP) and newbie Brad Brach (1.59 in 11+) also gave stellar performances.

Jose Ramirez (.371/.385/.697 for the chapter) continued his stellar season in Chapter Three. He whacked 14 doubles in just 21 games. Matt Joyce (.328/.438/.803) FINALLY turned his season around last chapter, and led the team with eight home runs. Gary Sanchez (.299/.349/.481) and Jayson Werth (.278/.458/.667) also enjoyed productive chapters at the plate.

The Bad

Listing Eugenio Suarez in the "Bad" section is actually an upgrade. He managed to hit .250/.301/.456 in Chapter Three, which is 71 points below his MLB OPS -- and yet that was a stellar performance compared to prior chapters. He actually hit four home runs in the chapter, which doubled his total from the prior two chapters. At least he's trending in the right direction now.

Andrew Benintendi remains in a mysterious slump. He hit .259/.338/.379 for the chapter, which actually raised his season's numbers to .232/.312/.333. The lack of power is especially mysterious, given that Fenway's LH HR factor is 19 points lower than Salem's. He's on pace to hit 10 home runs this year -- half of his MLB total.

Yoenis Cespedes (.244/.256/.366) is yet another mysterious under-performer. His slugging percentage against righties is a whopping 217 points below his MLB number. Again, the RH HR factor in Salem is six points higher than it is in Citi Field. What gives??

Jose Quintana was practically brilliant throughout the first two chapters, but went just 1-2 with a 4.50 ERA in five Chapter Three starts. Ol' Reliable Mike Leake (1-3, 5.88 ERA) was less-than-reliable last chapter as well. 

The Ugly

I really wish someone could explain why Mitch Moreland is SO awful. His BDBL numbers (.155/.212/.283 vs. RH) aren't in the same universe as his MLB numbers (.246/.324/.460). Overall, he is hitting 78 points below his MLB batting average, and 237 points below his MLB OPS. He has hit roughly as well as Jon Gray (.231/.231/.231) and Jose Quintana (.200/.200/.200). Most depressing of all, he has been very consistent throughout the season. He hit .210/.253/.358 in Chapter One, and .139/.213/.278 in Chapter Two. We have moved him to the #9 spot in the lineup, and yet it still isn't low enough.

Likewise, what the hell is up with Pedro Strop? Why does this game hate him so much? He was perfectly fine in Chapter One (3.15 ERA, 2 saves, in 20 IP), but then completely fell apart in Chapter Two (8.25 ERA in 12 IP), and continued his shittiness in Chapter Three (6.30 ERA in 10 IP). This is a guy who posted a nice and tidy 2.83 ERA in a tough pitchers park. C'mon, man!

Chapter Two Review

We wrapped up Chapter Two with a respectable, yet underwhelming, 16-12 record. Thanks to the even more underwhelming 15-13 chapter by the Joplin Miners (matching Granite State's record for the chapter), we managed to cut our deficit in the division to two games. One-run games continue to be our Achilles Heel. For the second chapter in a row, we finished with a losing record (3-5) in those tight games. For the season, we are now 6-12 in one-run games.

One of those tight games was lost when our bullpen blew a 3-0 lead in the eighth inning against the despicable Los Altos Undertakers. Our newest "closer", Tommy Hunter, who was supposed to help us with this one-run loss problem, only added to our misery by serving up a two-out, grand-slam, home run to Wilmer Flores.

We lost another one-run game against Kansas City when Robinson Cano hit a walk-off home run off Mike Leake in extra innings. That heroic event was only made possible because our bullpen blew a 5-2 lead in the eighth inning.

Our third one-run loss came against the Granite State Lightning, of all teams. We scored six runs against a team that is among the lowest-scoring teams in the BDBL, and yet it wasn't enough. We lost 7-6 thanks to another sub-par effort from our bullpen.

As we head into the third chapter, we face several usage issues that will need to be addressed sooner rather than later. We made several inquiries on the trading market this past chapter, and will continue to have those discussions as we head into the all-star break. We managed to add yet another bullpen arm this past chapter, and hope that Brad Brach can continue to pitch as well for us as he had been for the Western Kansas Buffaloes.

The question, as always, is: how much do we want to sacrifice for this season? With the Flagstaff Outlaws on pace to win 117 games, the playoffs promise to be an uphill battle (again.) Although winning the division would be sweet, sacrificing the future of this franchise for yet another postseason failure isn't a very tempting prospect. After years and years of trading our most talented young players away for no reward in the end, we intend to stick to our strategy of building around our foundation of young players. Trading one of those core players for an outside chance of upsetting the Outlaws in the playoffs is a fool's game. We've been foolish long enough.

The Good

Although we only hit .240/.310/.398 as a team in Chapter Two, we saw some stellar performances from Gary Sanchez (.338/.410/.622), Jose Ramirez (.319/.396/.574), Rafael Devers (.269/.345/.462), and, oddly enough, Deven Marrero (.333/.417/.905).

On the pitching side, Matt Grace has been an unexpected asset out of our bullpen. In ten innings, he didn't allow a single run, with only eight batters reaching base against him. We got another unexpected boost from Aaron Loup, who also didn't allow a run in his five-plus innings of work.

Mike Montgomery continues to shine as both a starter and reliever. He posted a 2.41 ERA in Chapter Two, and led the team with 41 innings. Unfortunately, we will need to cut back on those innings going forward.

Jose Quintana (4-1, 2.45 ERA in 40+ IP) was our best starting pitcher, and Mike Leake (4-2, 2.67 in 33+) continues to be a solid inning-eater. Even Stephen Strasburg (2-1, 2.91) and Jon Gray (1-2, 3.12) were useful in Chapter Two. And Stras only allowed one home run! If only we had any hitting whatsoever, we could have easily won twenty or more games.

The Bad

Trea Turner (.253/.298/.304) cooled down considerably from his hot start to the season. So did Travis d'Arnaud (.206/.308/.294.) And so did Odubel Herrera (.204/.268/.350). All three batters went from red-hot to ice cold.

Then there is Matt Joyce (.200/.273/.383), who has been ice cold all season. His OPS against right-handers is 142 points below his MLB OPS. He hit 24 homers against righties in MLB. He's currently on pace to hit 17 in the BDBL.

The Ugly

Man, what the fuck is up with Eugenio Suarez? Seriously. Enough already with this guy. He hit .194/.299/.388 for the chapter, and is now hitting .209/.305/.359 for the season. He's hitting ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FOUR POINTS below his MLB OPS. I'm now batting him seventh in the lineup, and yet I still can't hide his bat. He has been absolutely useless. I get it. He posted his MLB numbers in Cincinnati, which is a big-time hitter's park. But 164 F'ing points?? C'mon, man!

Then there is Andrew Benintendi, our leadoff hitter. Here is what Benny did hitting out of the leadoff spot for us all chapter, setting the table: .163/.277/.186. He's batting 155 points below his MLB OPS for the season. Is there something in Salem's water supply that is causing all of these good hitters to become completely useless? Maybe it's the Curse of the Salem Jumbotron. Next year, I'll put Doyle's picture out there in center field and see what happens.

Let's talk about Mitch Moreland. We got him for his glove and his bat against right-handers. So far,  the glove has been great. The bat? Not so much. Here's what he has hit against right-handers this season: .174/.223/.326. Here are his MLB numbers: .246/.324/.460. I mean...seriously. This isn't even the same guy! It's like DMB switched his player card with Tyler Saladino's!

On the pitching side, I present to you our ugliest performance of the chapter. Pedro Strop: 12 IP, 14 H, 11 R, 11 ER, 10 BB, 13 K. He sported an 8.25 ERA for the chapter and was responsible for two of our losses. His ERA is now nearly two and a quarter runs higher than his MLB ERA. His OPS allowed against lefties is -- get this -- 269 POINTS above his MLB OPS. Keep in mind that his main purpose for existing is getting left-handed batters out. Instead, he's allowed over 40% of them to reach base!

Chapter One Review

The word "disappointing" has been used so many times in Salem franchise history, it has become synonymous with the name "Cowtippers." Here's another word that is used far too often to describe the team from Salem: under-performing. Chapter One of the 2018 season was nothing more than the continuation of a 20-year trend of disappointment and under-performance.

Going into the season, we knew our bullpen would be a problem. We underestimated just how much of a problem it would be. We managed to post a shit-tastic record of 3-7 in one-run games last chapter, thanks in no small part to our bullpen. Let's take a look at all the wins our bullpen cost us this season (so far):

April 2: We handed a tied game over to Raisel Iglesias (allegedly one of our two best relievers) in the fifth inning in a game against Joplin. He proceeded to allow FOUR hits in a single inning, allowing two runs to score, and putting the game out of reach. Matt Grace and Pedro Strop poured salt on the wound by allowing three more runs.

April 17: We held a tenuous 3-1 lead over the Jamboree heading into the bottom of the eighth inning. Stephen Strasburg had pitched a phenomenal game, and we needed our bullpen to step up and do its job. Instead, Iglesias (again) allowed FOUR hits in a single inning of work. He and Mike Montgomery (allegedly our other decent reliever) coughed up three runs in their 1.1 innings combined.

April 20: We carried a 1-1 tie into the final game of that series against Bear Country, needing a win to give us a split of the series, which would allow us a share of first place for another day. Instead, Jonathan Holder (a right-hander who only faces righties) allowed back-to-back singles to the first two batters he faced (both right-handers.) Montgomery was then called upon to put out the fire. Instead, he shit the bed, giving up a base hit to lefty Jon Jay, and then a two-run single to Luis Aguilar. That was four singles in a row.

April 22: Jose Quintana pitched a gem, but we had to pull him after six innings with the score tied at 1-1. We handed the ball to Montgomery, who proceeded to allow a base hit to Mike Zunino and an RBI double to Starlin Castro. Game over. Another one-run loss.

April 26: Game One against the daunting Flagstaff Outlaws. We somehow managed to hold that ridiculous offense to only one run over the first eight innings, but their pitcher (Zack Greinke) was just as tough. We carried a 1-1 tie into the ninth, and entrusted Iglesias to hold them at bay for one more turn at bat, to give us a fighting chance to win. Instead, he coughed up a home run to Kris Davis. Game over. Another one-run loss.

April 28: Final game of the series against Flagstaff, and once again, we managed to carry a tied score into the ninth. This time, the game went into extra innings. In the 11th inning, Aaron Judge finally did to his old team what we expected him to do throughout the series, clubbing a two-run bomb to put Flagstaff ahead. Want to guess who was pitching? Yes, that's right: Iglesias. We ended up scoring a run in the bottom half of that inning, for not other reason than to give us one more one-run loss.

Those six game epitomize the 2018 season so far. All six of those games were easily winnable, and yet we managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory each and every time. Had we won just one of those games, we would have finished the chapter above .500. Had we won all six, we'd be looking at a VERY comfortable lead in our division. Instead, we're looking up at the Joplin Miners.

The Good

Mike Leake (2-2, 3.70 ERA in 7 games) has been everything we thought and hoped he would be. He has been a steady and reliable inning-eater, who has kept us in almost every game he has pitched. Jose Quintana (1-1, 3.25) has also been a steady contributor. Despite all of his failures listed above, Mike Montgomery (3-1, 2.52 ERA in 25 IP) was arguably our best pitcher in Chapter One.

Our catching duo of Gary Sanchez (.256/.306/.578 with a team-leading 8 HR and 18 RBI's) and Travis d'Arnaud (.409/.519/.773) has been absolutely insane at the plate. Miguel Cabrera (.348/.500/.435), Odubel Herrera (.315/.364/.435), Trea Turner (.307/.360/.533), and Andrew Benintendi (.280/.330/.441) have also been very good.

The Bad

Yoenes Cespedes was supposed to be a highly-productive part-time player for us this year. Instead, he has hit .239/.311/.418, with 22 strikeouts in only 67 at-bats. Matt Joyce (.242/.329/.468) was supposed to be a beast against right-handers, but has been largely useless this season. Jose Ramirez (.277/.344/.411) was supposed to be an MVP-candidate, but cooled down substantially after a hot start to the season.

Jon Gray may be the only player in BDBL history who is completely unaffected by park factors. He actually pitches WORSE in a pitcher's park than he does in Coors Field. So far this season, he has given up an inexplicable number of hits and home runs, and already has four losses on the season. We've been using him every fourth turn in the rotation despite his half-season of usage, hoping that it would help us get off to a hot start. Boy, did that backfire!

Stephen Strasburg continues his career-long pattern of allowing an inexplicable number of home runs. He has already allowed seven in just 42+ innings, after having allowed only 11 in 175+ innings in MLB. His BDBL home run rate is DOUBLED compared to his MLB rate -- and he pitches in a much friendlier BDBL home ballpark!

The Ugly

Jonathan Holder managed to post a 3.89 ERA in an extremely tough home ballpark of Yankee Stadium in 2017. He is an extreme-splits right-handed specialist, which is why he has only faced four left-handed batters in the BDBL so far. He held right-handers to a .260/.295/.415 batting line in MLB, but that line in the BDBL has been .391/.500/.609. It doesn't make sense on any level, and yet that's our reality. Because of his atrocious performance, we've had to rely on Montgomery, Iglesias, and Strop more than we would have liked. Two of the three are now drastically overused as a result.

Deven Marrero is not a good hitter. We know that. But he did somehow manage to post a .291/.344/.600 line in 55 at-bats against lefties. His batting line against lefties in the BDBL? .056/.105/.111. The dude is 1-for-18. He's managed ONE hit in eighteen at-bats against lefties. You'd think that he'd have two hits simply by random luck!

We made a last-minute trade for Mitch Moreland, both for his bat and his glove. So far, he's only brought his glove to the game. His bat has produced a .210/.253/.358 batting line, with 22 strikeouts and only five walks in 81 at-bats.

When we traded Elvis Andrus for Eugenio Suarez, we thought that their bats would be a wash. We knew Suarez's power numbers would suffer in Salem, but we hoped that he'd still be capable of hitting a few doubles -- or even a few singles. Instead, he's hit all of .221/.309/.337, with ONE stinkin' home run and a team-leading 27 K's. This is a guy who hit 26 homers in MLB. Adjusting for park factors, you'd expect maybe 22 homers in Salem. Instead he's on pace for SIX. (Yeah, I know, small sample.)

Winter, 2018

Ken "The Shark" Kaminski once coined the phrase "compete while rebuilding." That phrase could accurately describe what we are attempting to do this season. Coming off yet another disappointing postseason, the 2018 Cowtippers neither appeared good enough to compete nor bad enough to rebuild. So, we're doing both.

What Went Right This Winter

We acquired several players this winter with that goal of "competing while rebuilding" in mind. Our two auction acquisitions, Jose Quintana and Yoenis Cespedes, will not only contribute to our efforts to compete this year, but should be even greater assets in 2019 and 2020. We acquired several players in trade, such as Ichiro Suzuki, Matt Joyce, and Mike Leake, who are free agents at the end of this season. They will help us to compete this year, and then we shed $10 million in salary to spend on next year's free agent class.

In the draft, we mixed and matched players who can temporarily help us this year (Pedro Strop, Jayson Werth, Deven Marrero) with players who may help us next year (Andrew Toles, Tanner Scott, Dillon Maples.)

For the most part, we're happy with the players we were able to acquire this winter, and we believe they will help us compete in 2018 and beyond.

What Went Wrong This Winter

We severely misread the market for relief pitching. When we traded our closer, Blake Parker, very early in the winter, our assumption was that we could easily replace him in trade. Our most valuable trade bait, Elvis Andrus, proved to be unusually difficult to trade. With his Ex glove, power bat, even platoon splits, and reasonable salary, we wrongly assumed that he would have a great deal of trade value. Our franchise player, Trea Turner, is already manning the shortstop position, so we felt that Andrus was expendable, and that he would fetch a pair of quality relievers at minimum. We were wrong. Boy, were we wrong.

With our first pick in the farm draft, we selected a flamethrowing left-handed pitcher who is considered to be the second-best pitcher in Japan, and who is all-but-guaranteed to come to the US at the end of the 2018 season (or 2019 in the worst-case scenario.) Again, we completely misjudged the trade value of such a prospect. We made several offers for several relievers and were rejected at every turn.

We went into the draft with one nuclear option remaining: we could have spent $5 million on one player in the third round of the draft, and then filled in the rest of our roster with ten $100,000 picks. We had so many holes left to fill, that wasn't an appetizing option at all. However, we felt that if Brandon McCarthy or Tyler Chatwood fell to us then we could move Mike Montgomery to the bullpen and he would become our closer. Naturally, McCarthy and Chatwood were the first two picks of the draft.

So, Where Does That Leave Us?

Our bullpen is a mess. Raisel Iglesias, Jonathan Holder, and Phil Maton can't get lefties out if their lives depended on it. We need Montgomery's innings in the rotation. Strop is a right-handed lefty specialist. Matt Grace can't get right-handers out. In this day and age where bullpens have become so important, we don't have much of one.

Our starting rotation is actually not bad, but we don't have enough innings to survive an entire season unless we max-out Luis Perdomo (which would not be good.) I'll match Stephen Strasburg, Jose Quintana, Jon Gray, and Mike Montgomery against any four starters that any other team can throw against us. The problem is that Gray is limited to half a season and Montgomery is going to have to be a swing man.

Offensively, we don't have any problems at all. Jose Ramirez and Gary Sanchez are elite, all-star-caliber, players. Suarez and Odubel Herrera should be solid. Andrew Benintendi, Joyce, Ichiro, Mitch Moreland, and Turner are good platoon bats. Cespedes and Rafael Devers will be great when they play (which won't be often.) I expect this team to score somewhere near the 846 runs we scored a year ago.

This doesn't look like a division-winning team, but there are plenty of examples of teams in recent history that won their divisions despite not looking like a division-winner on paper. With Jim Doyle now leading the old Blazers franchise, and with Granite State and Western Kansas looking as though they're in the process of rebuilding, we could have a shot. Stranger things have happened.

The plan is to "go for it" early in the season, and then reassess our standing after a couple of chapters. If we're in the race, then maybe we'll trade away some of our future to win that division title. If we're out of the hunt, then we'll kick it into full-on rebuilding mode. "Compete while rebuilding." Sharky was a genius.

2017 OLDS: The Gory Details

To say that we were the underdogs in our OL Division Series matchup against the Los Altos Undertakers would be a laughable understatement. The Undertakers won 18 more games during the regular season, scored 77 more runs, and allowed 122 fewer runs. Prior to Game One, if you had told me that we would out-score Los Altos in the Division Series by six runs, I would have had a good laugh at your expense, and yet that is exactly what we did. And we still lost the series.

We have a bad habit of setting the wrong kinds of records in the BDBL, including the longest losing streak in BDBL World Series history. In 2017, we set yet another unwanted postseason record. We are now the only team to have ever lost four one-run games in a postseason series. Here is how it all happened.

Game One

Los Altos clubbed 277 home runs during the regular season, in large part thanks to their home ballpark, which carries a home run factor of 137 for right-handed batters. With their lineup filled with right-handed power hitters, we determined that if we were to have any shot of beating this team in Los Altos, we had to somehow keep their righties in the ballpark. To that end, we decided to hand the ball to Jon Gray for Game One.

Of all of our starting pitchers, Jon yielded the lowest slugging percentage against right-handed batters than any other starter except Steven Matz. With Matz being left-handed, we felt that it would be better to keep the Undertakers' short-usage righties (Wilmer Flores and Sandy Leon) on the bench in that ballpark.

As the saying goes, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Gray didn't make it out of the third inning before his day was through. In two-plus innings, he allowed seven hits and five runs. Two of those hits and runs came on leadoff solo homers: one by right-hander Nolan Arenado (who seems to be immune from the Coors Effect), and one by a left-hander, Ryan Schimpf.

To our great surprise and delight, we had actually managed to take a 3-0 lead in the first inning. We began the game with FOUR consecutive doubles off of Los Altos ace Chris Sale. We then tacked on two more runs in the third. For a brief moment, we thought that if Gray could keep those bats in check, we might have a shot at stealing a victory in this series. Instead, by the time that disastrous third inning ended, we were looking at a 5-5 tied game.

Just when it seemed that our bullpen would hold that tie long enough for our offense to come through for us, we handed the ball to Rubby de la Rosa to face the top of the lineup in the sixth inning. Rubby had been rock-solid throughout the regular season. Right-handed batters slugged only .229 against Rubby this season -- the lowest rate of any pitcher on our staff. In 188 at-bats against righties, he surrendered only three home runs. Yet, the second batter he faced, Arenado, went deep for the second time in the game. Four batters later, another right-hander, Sean Rodriguez, also went yard. In two innings, de la Rosa managed to allow nearly as many home runs to right-handed batters as he allowed all season.

To their credit, our offense refused to go down without a fight. We rallied for two runs in the seventh inning thanks to a walk and three singles. Miguel Cabrera, our $13 million all-star, then stepped to the plate with two outs and the tying run on third and...popped out to left. Yet another disappointment provided by our incredibly disappointing first baseman.

Another scoring opportunity went to waste in the eighth when Gary Sanchez popped up to the catcher with no outs and a runner at first, and Jose Altuve followed with a ground-out against a pitcher (Ryan Buchter) he should have matched up well against.

Kenley Jansen then came into the game to protect a one-run lead in the ninth and did what he would do throughout the entire series: three-up, three-down.

Game Two

Maintaining our strategy of keeping Los Altos' right-handed bats off the bench as much as possible, we gave the ball to another right-hander, Junior Guerra, in Game Two. Although he was a huge disappointment throughout the season, Guerra was masterful. In six innings, he allowed only one run on three hits and no walks.

With the game tied at 1-1 in the seventh, Guerra was scheduled to lead off the inning. Although he was pitching very well, I could not start the inning with a guaranteed out, so I called on Kyle Seager to pinch hit. That decision proved to be a productive one, as Seager reached on a base hit, advanced to second on a passed ball, and scored on a double by Andrew Benintendi.

As always, our celebration was short-lived. And once again, our celebration ended thanks to yet another Los Altos home run. With two outs, Undertakers manager Jeff Paulson called on pinch hitter David Freese to face lefty Daniel Norris. With two left-handers coming up behind Freese, I opted to let Norris pitch to him. I figured the only bad outcome would be a home run, and of course that's exactly what happened.

With the game now tied at 2-2, Alex Dickerson came through with a clutch leadoff triple. The next two batters grounded out to a drawn-in infield. For a moment it looked as though that triple would be yet another wasted opportunity. Instead, Trea Turner came through big-time with a huge two-run blast off of Adam Ottavino.

We now needed to somehow protect a two-run lead against the mighty Los Altos offense. I gave the ball first to ol' reliable, David Phelps -- perhaps our best reliever throughout the regular season. He didn't disappoint, retiring the side in order in the eighth. I let him stay in the game in the ninth to face a pair of power-hitting righties, Arenado and Nelson Cruz. Arenado led off the inning with a single, and Cruz struck out. I then brought in lefty Sammy Solis to face Anthony Rizzo and Justin Turner, and he retired both with ease, securing our first win of the series.

Game Three

With the series heading to our home ballpark in Salem, we could now give the ball to, arguably, our best starting pitcher, Matz. Matz's overall numbers in 2017 were dragged down by a handful of really bad starts. When he was on, no one on our pitching staff was better. Unfortunately for us, Matz chose Game Three of the OL Division Series to be off.

Out of our entire starting rotation, Matz owned the lowest opponent's slugging percentage at just .363. Against right-handed batters, it was just .386. He allowed 15 home runs in 145 innings -- less than one per nine. Then he faced the Undertakers in the OLDS and this happened:

Cruz: two-run homer in the first inning
Rizzo: leadoff blast in the second inning
Cruz: another solo homer in the third inning
Choo: solo homer in the fourth
Choo: two-run homer in the sixth

Three of those home runs were hit by left-handed batters...in a ballpark that suppresses left-handed home runs by six percent.

We trailed by a score of 5-1 heading into the fifth inning. We then played longball ourselves. A two-run blast by Jose Ramirez and a pinch hit solo shot by Jayson Werth made it a one-run game. The following inning, Jose Altuve stepped up and added a three-run homer. Three batters later, even Miguel Cabrera got into the act with an RBI single. By the time the smoke cleared, we were looking at an 8-7 lead with only three innings left to play.

Once again, we handed the ball to Rubby de la Rosa. Once again, he put us in a hole. A walk, a double, and an RBI groundout handed the lead back to Los Altos. With runners at second and third, it was tempting to bring the infield in to try to cut off that tying run. But with no outs and the heart of the Los Altos lineup due to hit, it would have opened the door to a big inning. Instead, we let the tying run score so that we could record an out.

I then brought Solis in to face the lefty Cory Seager. He grounded out for out number two. For a moment, it felt like we could escape from this jam with the tied game intact. Then Arenado stepped up and -- yet again -- came through in the clutch. His RBI single gave Los Altos the lead.

We wasted yet another opportunity in the seventh inning. After Odubel Herrera began the inning with a hit-by-pitch, Elvis Andrus (a Vg bunter) tried to bunt him over into scoring position. Instead, the play went to second, and they cut down Herrera. Determined to get that runner over no matter what, I then called for Andrus to steal second. Thankfully, he was successful. We now had a runner in scoring position with one out.

Cameron Maybin followed with a ground-out, and Jose Altuve thought this was such a great idea, he grounded out as well. Opportunity missed. It would be the last opportunity we would get, as Los Altos then turned the ball over to their two most suffocating closers, Dellin Betances and Kenley Jansen. Yet another one-run loss was recorded in the books.

Game Four

I had originally planned to start Mike Montgomery in Game Four, but thanks to Gray's unexpectedly short outing in Game One, he was available instead. Thinking that perhaps if the series went to seven games, and knowing that Guerra would have to be limited to three innings because of our ridiculous usage rules, I figured maybe Gray could pitch at least a couple of innings if needed, on the outside chance there would be a Game Seven.

Gray's outing in Game Four was what I had expected from him in Game One: 6.1 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 3 BB, 8 K. We then handed the game over to our bullpen, which was equally masterful: 2.2 IP, 1 H, 1 R, 0 BB, 4 K. The only two runs scored by Los Altos were -- you guessed it -- home runs. A pair of relatively harmless solo shots by -- you guessed it -- Nolan Arenado -- would be the only scoring of the day for the mighty Undertakers.

Unfortunately, those two runs would be enough to win this one.

What turned out to be the game-winning solo home run by Arenado was hit off of Raisel Iglesias. Iglesias' stats against right-handers this season: .180/.257/.251, with 3 HR in 183 AB.

Meanwhile, our entire offensive game came down to one painfully missed opportunity. With the bases loaded in the first inning, Miguel Cabrera stepped to the plate with two outs to face Sale. He whiffed.

Our only run came in the eighth inning when we strung together a single, a double, and a sac fly. But once again, we missed a golden opportunity to score the tying run of the game when Gary Sanchez popped out for out number two, and Herrera left the tying run stranded in scoring position with his inning-ending pop fly.

That set the stage for Jansen, who recorded yet another three-up, three-down inning.

Game Five

With our backs against the wall, a single win away from elimination, we turned to Mike Montgomery to allow us to fight another day. He did just that, holding Los Altos to just three runs (two earned) in six-plus innings.

Our offense, meanwhile, managed to chip away at Los Altos starter Aaron Sanchez with singles, walks, and sac flies. By the end of five innings, we had built a 5-2 lead. Los Altos tacked on another run in the sixth inning to make it a 5-3 game. In the eighth, we pecked and chipped and scratched and clawed for two more runs, making it a 7-3 game.

We handed the game over to our bullpen with two outs in the seventh. In the ninth, Daniel Norris surrendered a leadoff triple to a lefty, Cory Seager. We let him score on a ground ball to short, exchanging that run for a crucial out instead. David Phelps then managed to get the dangerous Nelson Cruz to tap one back to the mound. Instead of recording the easy out number two, however, Phelps decided to throw the ball down the right field line, allowing Cruz to advance to second.

Lefty Sammy Solis was called on to face a pair of lefties. After striking out Ryan Schimpf for that crucial second out, Stephen Vogt somehow cranked a double to score yet another run. Solis held lefties to a .232 average this season, and Vogt his just .227 against southpaws. Go figure.

With our lead slipping through our fingers, and the ever-dangerous Arenado stepping to the dish, I asked Nate Jones to do the impossible and record that third and final out. Instead, he hit Arenado with a pitch. Then, for good measure, he uncorked a wild pitch to put two runners -- including the tying run of the game -- in scoring position.

With Anthony Rizzo at the plate, and the tying run standing one bloop single away, I decided not to roll that particular pair of dice. I intentionally walked Rizzo to load the bases. With a heavy sigh of relief, Sean Rodriguez then grounded out to end the game.

Game Six

If Junior Guerra had thrown just 3.1 more innings in MLB 2016, his postseason usage in this series wouldn't have been an issue. Instead, he was limited to 9 2/3 innings thanks to our arbitrary rules. Of course, I was fully aware of that when I allowed him to throw six innings in Game Two, and thus fully-prepared to turn Game Six into a "bullpenning" experiment if it came to that.

We jumped out to a 1-0 lead in the first inning thanks to another clutch home run by Jose Ramirez. Guerra was as good as we have seen all season, tossing three shutout innings to start the game. But with only two outs remaining in his usage, and with his spot in the batting lineup coming in the top of the fourth with two outs, I reluctantly decided to cut Guerra's usage even further and pinch hit Cameron Maybin. Naturally, he struck out.

Forced to turn the game over to our bullpen, I began with Daniel Norris -- who was also limited in usage himself. In keeping with the theme of this entire series, he coughed up a home run to the very first batter he faced, Sean Rodriguez. Thankfully, however, he settled down from there and retired ten of the next eleven batters he faced.

Meanwhile, our offense exploded in the top of the fifth inning. A walk, an error, three straight singles, and a three-run double by Alex Dickerson plated five runs, giving us a commanding 6-1 lead. After Norris struck out the side in order (giving him five strikeouts in a row) in the sixth, we turned the game over to Ryan O'Rourke, Sammy Solis, David Phelps, and Nate Jones, who got the job done. We walked away with an easy 7-1 win, putting us one win away from the OL Championship Series. All that stood in our way was Steven Matz.

Game Seven

We never thought it would come to this, but if you had told me prior to the start of the series that we'd be heading to Game Seven with a fully-rested Steven Matz as our starting pitcher, I would have felt pretty good about that situation. After his shellacking in Game Three, however, it hardly inspired confidence to see him take the hill -- especially on the road in Los Altos' righty-friendly home run haven.

It didn't take long for this game the fate of this game to reveal itself. The ever-dangerous Arenado stepped to the plate in the bottom of the first with two outs and runners on the corners. To my great relief, he hit a routine ground ball to first. Then, I watched with horror as the ball trickled through the legs of our $13 million first baseman, Cabrera, allowing a crucial -- and ultimately game-deciding -- run to score.

Incredibly, we managed to take the lead the following inning when Trea Turner -- using up one of his final at-bats of the series -- went yard off of Chris Sale to give us a 2-1 lead. But, in keeping with the theme of this series, lefty Anthony Rizzo then greeted lefty Matz in the bottom half of that inning with a game-tying home run. Heaven forbid we enjoy our lead for more than a moment.

Matz wasn't done serving up gopher-balls. After coughing up FIVE of them in Game Three, and another to Rizzo in Game Six, he allowed another (to Sandy Leon) in the third inning, and then yet ANOTHER (to Nelson Cruz) in the fifth. In total, Matz somehow managed to allow EIGHT home runs in twelve innings in the OLDS. That might be forgivable if he wree throwing batting practice, but he was actually TRYING to get batters out. In retrospect, Stephen "Whiplash" Strasburg couldn't have performed worse than Matz.

The Undertakers scored five runs in Game Seven. Three were scored by the longball. One was scored on Cabrera's clutch imitation of Bill Buckner. The other scored in the sixth inning when Matz crumbled under pressure by allowing a single and a walk to load the bases with two outs. Cory Seager then pinch hit for Sale. Cory Seager can't hit left-handers if his life depended on it. Cory Seager blooped a dying quail over the outstretched gloves of our infield to plate what became the deciding run of the OLCS.

Meanwhile, our offense busied itself by doing what they do best: wasting opportunities.

As if Cabrera hadn't proven his uselessness enough in this game, he grounded into an inning-ending, rally-killing double play to end the fourth inning. In the sixth, we managed to load the bases with no outs and the heart of our lineup coming to bat. Elvis Andrus grounded into a double play (scoring a run), and Trea Turner followed by using his final at-bat of the series to strike out.

We managed to push across a run in the eighth inning on a double and a (very) clutch RBI single by Dickerson -- off of Kenley Jansen, no less! But Jansen then recorded four easy outs in a row to end the game, the series, and our season.

Final Thoughts

If Miguel Cabrera were capable of fielding a ground ball hit straight toward him, taking a few steps to his left, and stepping on first base...

If Cabrera had come through with a base hit with two outs and a runner on third in Game One OR Game Four...

If Steven Matz had allowed "ONLY" seven home runs in his twelve innings instead of eight...

If only ONE of the SIXTEEN home runs the Undertakers hit had been held up by the wind, or died at the warning track, or were snatched over the fence with a leaping grab...

If Jon Gray's Game One performance were anything remotely like his Game Four effort...

If Trea Turner had just one more hit left in him...

If Cory Seager and Anthony Rizzo posted the same numbers against left-handed pitching that they posted during the regular season...

If any of the above had happened, I would be writing about our strategy for the upcoming OLCS against New Milford. They say baseball is a game of inches, and that anything can happen in the Tournament of Randomness. Nineteen years and fourteen playoff appearances into this league's history, we're still waiting for the year when the Salem Cowtippers will be the recipients of some of these lucky, random, breaks. Maybe next year.